Is there anything you can do to bust/expose the affair? (Sorry, don't know if you've already done that) Otherwise, there isn't much you can do right now.
How would she describe the marriage? What were the problems? What can you do to change that dynamic over time? (Change yourself)
There is also the hard line approach as well. See Puppy, Robx, Steve McQueen, etc. You are still married and you could take more drastic measures. Just be prepared to enforce them.
