So here's some of what I'm thinking/doing right now.
I had been talking to my H often - we've had things to go over about house, move etc. But the last few days I have been online and so has he. But I am not engaging him in conversation. He can see I'm here, so maybe he'll wonder what I'm doing. In any case I won't have him thinking I sit at my computer all day waiting to see of he gets on (even though I sort of do since I do spend a lot of time online right now). But he doesn't need to know that.
Also I've come to a conclusion, but I wanted to get some input from people here as you have more experience. I intend to not have sex with my H as long as he continues contact with the OW. It's not a punishment, but I intend to tell him I won't share him and, to me, that is the best way to show I mean it. I thought up what I want to say, and I have tried saying it out loud. Not so it sounds scripted or rehearsed, but to be sure I can actually say it.
When he tries to be intimate with me I want to say, "Please stop. This is an act of intimacy for me, and I can't have that with you as long as you are involved with her. I will only make love to my husband and you have told me you don't want to be that. Let me know if that changes."
Obviously it might not be those exact words, but something close to that. Does this sound like a good idea? I don't intend to bring it up unless he does something I would only share with him and no one else.
I slept well last night, for a change. It was so pleasant. But my cold is really kicking my butt. I have a sore throat and constant low level headache. Ick
Oh yes, and I'm writing an essay. I will try, with the help of a handy journalism professor, to get it into a women's magazine. The essay is entitled "How I Lost My Husband in the Dishwasher." It's going to be a sort of mini lecture on Michele's principles. I'll give her full credit for the research, of course. But I think many women who read it might pick up one of the books. It could help more people find answers. I'll let you know how it goes.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
