Pls help--confused and fearful

[P17]

DBD your husband is a huge child at the moment and is having a childish outburst. The only thing I think was missing from his text is 'nah, nah, nananah'.

However you are STILL letting him to do this to you.

I can't understand why you are asking him for money when you know the response. It's as if you WANT him to be mean to you.

You need to go to a lawyer tomorrow (or today) and get this sorted. Get the financial support agreement sorted out as soon as possible. Not next week, not when you feel up to it. Now. He is NOT going to give you any money as he STILL has the power and control over you. The REASON he has that power and control is you HAVE LEFT HIM WITH IT. Take that rug out from under him NOW, pull it away, burn it, get the financial support, get your mortgage paid and then you can deal with everything else.

When the control your H has over you has gone, so will his power. When that goes you may finally start to see some changes - those changes may be to the good or the bad, but they will be changes. At the moment everything is stagnating. He is nasty, you accept it, and the mortgage doesn't get paid. Then we start again.

Break the circle. Stop the bus. Stop the train. Stop the roundabout. Get off. Say no more. File for financial support. Get the mortgage paid. IGNORE HIM until he starts acting like an adult. Then you can worry about the M, R or anything else later.

While I remember, I think you said earlier that he told the kids he was going to take them on New Years Day? That is not how this [censored] works. He ASKS you if that would be okay - he is still the children's father but they reside with you. You decide day-to-day matters NOT him. HE communicates with you, NOT with the kids. If he wants to start playing the kids card, pull that rug our from under him as well. He isn't paying any CS for them so is a pr*t not a father. Men like your H make me want to smack somebody, they really really do. I spent 7 years fighting to see my D while fathers like him get handed on it a plate and can't be ar$ed even participating.

It's time to play hardball DBD. Time is today. Now.

[Day by Day]

Love it P. I agree with you!! But I did see the L yesterday! I now have proof that I've been asking him for support and he denies it repeatedly. Not good for him. Don't worry, it's not hurting me now. I'm indifferent to his meanness. I can't prevent him from seeing the kids even though he is not giving money. I *am* stopping this train. Things are getting in order. I'm a bit cryptic as I had mentioned this forum to a wife of a coworker of his going through probs and now I'm suspicious.

You are a wonderful loving father P and I'm so, so glad that there are men out there like you!

Won't even mention what kind of father my H is being in the same sentence as you.

Thanks so much for rallying for me!!

[P17]

Love it P. I agree with you!! But I did see the L yesterday! I now have proof that I've been asking him for support and he denies it repeatedly. Not good for him.

when are you likely to see money though?

I can't prevent him from seeing the kids even though he is not giving money.

I would never suggest anybody do that. That hurts the kids. But it needs to be controlled / regulated / scheduled. Not because you are awkward but for 2 reasons - 1. everybody knows where they stand 2. being flexible causes arguments (oh I want to drop the kids off / pick them up early / want them on Tuesday but you're being awkard).

I know. I've been there. I have the t-shirt, the badge, the membership and the sports bag.

Thanks so much for rallying for me!!

Always rallying for you DBD. I think the sh*tty end of the stick you've been given by your childish H is quite simply out of order. He needs to be taken down many many pegs.

[Day by Day]

Thanks for the heads-up on the parenting schedule. I'll take your word for it!

$-It's supposed to be immediate.

Always rallying for you DBD. I think the sh*tty end of the stick you've been given by your childish H is quite simply out of order. He needs to be taken down many many pegs.

AMEN. AMEN. AMEN!!!! I hope to live to see the day. I hope it's soon.

[Day by Day]

It's sick how connected WAH, OW and OW's XH are. I did reply to WAH's email after all saying that OW's xh is not my friend and I want no part of it.

Well, just got an email from ow's xh checking on me. I've been ignoring the guy for weeks. I so want to get away from this cr@p. Don't want these people in my life. My WAH really got himself into a mess.

[Day by Day]

OW's XH is stalking me... message on FB and TM and email. Ugh.

[P17]

It's sick how connected WAH, OW and OW's XH are. I did reply to WAH's email after all saying that OW's xh is not my friend and I want no part of it.

DBD can I ask WHY you replied? STOP IT!

Well, just got an email from ow's xh checking on me. I've been ignoring the guy for weeks. I so want to get away from this cr@p. Don't want these people in my life. My WAH really got himself into a mess.

There is something going on here behind the scenes IMO that you're not party to. Maybe H, OW and OW xH are setting you up? Be very careful IGNORE ANY FURTHER CONTACT.

[Day by Day]

DBD can I ask WHY you replied? STOP IT!

Yes, P, I know. I know. 2x4 well deserved. I just tried so hard to resist defending myself, but couldn't. In part it's that I do believe it is very suspicious about OW's xH. I do think it's a setup. I am/have been ignoring any further contact from him. I am being very careful in that aspect. His TM asked if I "was under surveillance". Ugh. I didn't respond and don't care to.

I am very annoyed that anything I say to WAH is passed along down to OW's xH. OW & her xH have a very contentious relationship. I don't like that those people have been introduced into my life. I want them out. I won't be fueling the fire of their sick relationship. Things he has told me were said to incite me and I don't want to hear anymore.

[chatterbug]

Agreed. If he keeps it up. Fill harrasment charges against him. Play hardball on this issue. Do not reply. But capture. Record. Use. Protect.

[newmama]

whoa...I don't understand how the three of them are in this together??
just please please DO NOT defend yourself to WH anymore!! You are more in control when you don't respond! vent here instead!