OldPilot-Thanks. I know this can't go on for years because my patience is at it's thinnest point in a very long time and I not sure I can find much more.
sh-I agree that since my focus was off the M for the last 6 month, my H seemed to make progress. I'm just not sure we can go back there again. And yes, my H has given notice at his apartment however he told me that when he gave his notice, they offered to lower his rent to stay.
di-Good to hear from you. You were with your H for the majority of your life so I can only imagine that letting go is that much more difficult but you are doing well and you will eventually get to the other side of this. I, too, wish there was a crystal ball to know how this is all going to turn out. Since we don't have one, I guess we just have to continue you on with our lives like they aren't coming back. However if we are standing, the caveat is that we don't file for D or start dating.
yr-I have so many questions for you. My H told me that he was "freaking out". When I asked if he was "freaking out" and still going to move back or "freaking out" and unable to move back, he couldn't answer. I guess I got my answer!!! He left 3 days ago unable to move in any direction and I haven't heard from him since. You could say that My H and I have been "dating" pretty consistantly for over a year now and when I gave my H the deadline, he told me that was fair and made some plans to move back but then... How long did you and your H see each other before talking about moving back in together? Did you ever push? After he got cold feet, did you hear from him consistently? I'm not sure I haven't already blown it and I must admit there is a part of me that doesn't really care if I have. This is all so confusing.
kj-My H and I agreed that we BOTH needed to move forward. Our plan was for him to move back so we could work on things. When my H told me he was "freaked out", I didn't handle it well and told him I would move forward without him and there is a big part of me that wants to do just that. I have accepted everything on his terms for so long and I am just not sure I can do it anymore. If I knew that he could get past his issues within 6 months, I could accept that. I just hate to keep investing all this time and energy into something that isn't paying off. So yes, I can live my life and if he were to come out of the fog at some point, I could evaluate the situation at that time. However, the longer this goes on, my feelings for my H do seem to fade.
l.t.-You are right that I am exhausted and want to quit. I am trying to find more energy to finish the race but at this point, I'm not even sure there is still a race. I suppose I might wonder "what if" but I know I have fought so hard and so long to keep this going, I can feel good about how I have handled things.
Thank you all for you encouragement, advice and support.
