NC - W vanished ...

[P17]

Still upset and very low today. Did get a good amount of sleep (far too much if I'm honest I didn't get up until 12pm).

Seem to be sleeping a lot which I will need to knock on the head. Also spending a LOT of time with D's mum (spent most of today there and just about to go back around). It's not uncomfortable but I am aware that this isn't normal for a platonic relationship.

P, of course you are upset! You just saw W and OM out together at a restaurant after the holidays!
((P17))

I did but that really didn't bother me to be honest. What is bothering me, and I am reading too much into this but I will say it nonetheless, is when they left. W's friend left first and then W and OM left about a minute afterwards. Everybody had finished their drinks and meal (as I saw that when I poked my head around) so why didn't they all leave together? Am I not allowed to see them together? Is it poor old P, let's not put him through it - I don't want their pity. If they had actually sat there all through my meal I wouldn't have given a stuff.

Anyway, venting there.

I think you may be right though. It is the only logical explanation as to why I feel so bad. Maybe I just saw W again and that made me feel bad as I hadn't seen her since 23 November.

I don't know. I still feel like crying. No idea why. I still feel low. No idea why. I still feel upset. Again, no idea why. I just do.

Ride this and I think you have dropped the rope on your (old) M but truthfully I doubt you have dropped it on her YET.

Why do you say that? I'm also wondering - if I drop the rope, jeez, is that it game over ... that worries me and excites me at the same time.

I almost didn't respond because you know me. But you did ask for opinions.

I did and I always welcome anything you say newmama. You are my window of optimism in all of this!

remember that song was written by the WAS to the LBS

LOL ... I didn't realise that. For me it's better that the LBS wrote it about the WAS!

P. You have suffered so much. Loss of wife. Loss of mother.
find it amazing that you are still functioning. I do not know that I could be as strong as you.
But you are pulling through.

Thanks cutter. It's not been easy at time but then it's not easy for any of us. I have tried to vent in here as much as possible in the hope that it helps others understand that their 'weird' feelings are actually normal and also for me to get it off my chest.

You did well. I hope my friend that you see the light at the end of all this.

I know I will. However the tunnel getting there is full of broken glass, holes, and rats ... reminds me of the beginning of Raiders Of The Lost Ark ...

And for those that do not know P. And where he lives. Just always remember its a small town. And where ever he goes he knows he can bump into her.... and him at any time. And the rumour mills just go on and on.

That is true. W and OM also work in the one supermarket in the town that is the easiest, cheapest and has the biggest selection of the others. So it's actually a pin to shop elsewhere.

The rumour mill doesn't ever stop here. It just rotates from one crisis to another ... there is a saying in this town, and forgive my bluntness ... you can't fart in XYZ but you'll hear about in <the next town> before you smell it ... ahem. Scottish humour.

Truly P. You are very strong. I am very proud of you. Imagine you were dealing with this in a city of 8 million instead of 7000.

I try to ... and I wish I was! The largest city in Scotland has a population of about 1 million (the entire country has a population of 5 million) and that is the city I'm from. Whenever I go back there it's like a wave washes over me to clear this nonsense from my mind.

Guys, thank you again. I really wish there was more input in all of our threads particularly from the likes of Sandi2, PDT, Gnosis, et al. We've been ostracised over here But we're doing okay!