What to do when H doesn't contact?

[Goodfight]

Do I wait for H to contact me now? I did apologize for being upset with him and told him I was having a really bad day that day but I never heard back from him. That was last Monday. Or do I contact H first. This is where I'm confused.

[dday101798]

If you've made your apology and it was sincere, leave it at that for now. Anymore would show him pursuit, and neediness (ie you need him to know your sorry).

It took on average 3-4 months for (x)W to want to talk again after these types f issues would creep up. After a couple times of me not reaching out to her anymore, she came to me, and well, things a very good now. It's just all about showing them, "hey, fine, that's how you want things, then that's how they'll be, my life and life with everyone else in and around the situation will go on weither I talk to you or not." Then they get to thinking, 'heh, I really messed that one up', and then you'll be receiving the apology.

[Goodfight]

Got ya. I was sincere and told him that he could call or text me if he wanted and that I was really sorry and wouldn't bother him anymore. How does that sound?

[dday101798]

Sounds good enough. Now, go about life and don't dwell on it. I know, it's hard, but you need to. The more you just let it go, the better off you'll be and the more your H will have time to think of what he's really doing.

[Goodfight]

Thanks

[soleil]

Got ya. I was sincere and told him that he could call or text me if he wanted and that I was really sorry and wouldn't bother him anymore. How does that sound?

Good job. You let him know you were sorry...now pull back.

[Goodfight]

I've pulled back but boy it is hard.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yes, it is.

[jon2911]

Hang in there GF!

As for what dday said, I would apply that to all of us husbands. We know when we're doing wrong, but nagging and guilt-tripping always backfire. MWD has some good stuff on that.

And here's one for you. If you've already read it, read again!
http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_take_care_of_yourself.htm

[dday101798]

As for what dday said,

Ummmmm,

What I was saying is that in order to promote an atmosphere of change and promise, communication is absolutley a critical key to getting anywhere. Of all the stories we all have, most with many similarities, but they all have one thing in common: the ability to effectively communicate in all respects in each and every one of the situations on this board from the day it was created unitl the day it ceases to exist, effective communication simply was not happening.

I understand your point jon, yes, in general and it's no big secret, we do not repsond well to 'nagging and guilt tripping', and yes, GF's text came of as such and was clearly received by her H as such.