Quote:

what next?


I dunno. I'm not writting your story, you are.

I'd add a few names to that best of the best. Bill Kerry Jim Ian Was Drew yadda yadda yadda.

Bradley,

You've gotten hit with two tons of shite.
In the movies the hero doesn't just roll over and die, he stands up and keeps going.

You can sit in the dark apartment after your workday, and woe is me until your sick. In fact you're allowed that, but you cannot wallow in it. Your better than that. Aren't you?

This lying manipulative bithc is going to make you doubt yourself, rip your heart out and basically put you in a box...well your going to let her if you wallow.

You said it yourself, you pretty much went through SEAL training for 9 years. You're one tough muther brother. You only fail if you allow it.

Have a pity party, feel bad for yourself, have an extra finger of bourbon, then get up dust yourself off, realize life ain't fair, and then change it to make it unfair in your favor. : )
Cowboy up.

There are various views about the OM/OW and confronting the Spouse, confronting the OM. Each situation is different. You...on a deep level know your wife better than anyone here. However, we know MLC tendencies better than you do.

If you try to push them apart, they will stick together tighter.


I will offer some basic advice for the long run.

Do not involve or bad mouth her to your family or friends, do not bad mouth her to her family. If you family or friends are telling you to leave her ass, tell them thanks for their concern, but this is your choice (If you choose to stick) and that you require their support in that decision. Otherwise not to talk to you about it...ever.

(the above is because IF she comes back, you want it to be easy in that aspect, of not having judgement from your family or friends. Plus your family and freinds don't want to see you hurt, so they think they are helping)

Keep your boys as insultated from this as possible.

Do not hurt yourself in trying to please her. Certainly not right now.

STFU about the marriage. : )

STFU about the relationship.

And last thing...

Oh yeah...

Answer my questions from above.

Why can't you move closer to your boys? Is it the job?


There is something that many of us forgot...

This time away from her.

Bradley, you aren't going to believe me right now, but everyone who has been here awhile and grown, will tell you.

This TIME apart is a gift.

Seriously. Use it to do the things you stopped doing on her account to please her. Use it to help yourself. What things did you used to do that you loved? Hobbies, games? Do not forget the self improvement, but do not forget the fun the things that make you feel alive too.

As for the other guy? Mach is right, he is getting the souless version of your wife. Later there are tricks for getting past that if you need it...

speaking of...

You should totally join Facebook and become a FAN of Divorce Busting on FaceBook. Michelle has alot of good advice and videos there about DBing principals. Don't make me hit you the head with more hints than that. : ) I'd use your posting name here when you did become a fan of DB on FB. Lets hope your quicker on the uptake than trapt. ; )



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet