Any tips to deal with Jealousy on my part

[g450]

I try to remind myself of all her shortcomings to help me think of a better future.

She had little to no sex drive and I am HD type.

She showed little to no affection so I was basically
in a loveless marriage or so it felt. But she did show me love on occasion.

For the past few years she seems to have been permanently on PMS. Always bitchy (but only to me). Couldnt even ask her to pass the salt without her turning it into an argument.

She is a slob. I have always overlooked this but it still bothers me.

Seemed that nothing I did was right. From how I drove to how I cooked to how I dressed etc.

Even with all this I still want her back so bad it hurts. What the hell is wrong with me? Most other men would have left HER already instead of the other way around.

Guess I have become too dependant on her for my own happiness and existance. I know I can live without her but what kind of life? Guess Ill find out soon enough.

Im not ashamed to say that the thought of starting over at 47 terrifies me. Im sure in time this will change.