Flushing the toxins from my life

[CountingCrows]

Been a few days since I've posted. I've had to take a bit of a break from here, as reading all these threads can really depress me right now. I've had minimal contact with STBXW since she was served the D papers. I did talk to her long enough last Saturday for her to get a few jabs in. Seems the people who know you the best/longest, know the most vulnerable places to hit to really hurt the worse. I should have cut the conversation shorter and not given her that chance. Spent the next few days reeling from the low blows, and trying to rise above the self-blame that was triggered. I know it's not my fault that she became a serial adulterer, but I also know I'm not perfect and did/do have my flaws that contributed to her pulling away from me.

S7 spent Sunday afternoon visiting STBXW. Everything was civil. When picking him up, as I stood in the doorway, she apologized for all the things she had done to me, but that there was nothing she could do to change these things. She gave me a hug and told me that although I'd never believe any words coming out of her mouth, she did love me. She knows that we can't remain married...the distrust would be too overwhelming for both of us.

Still waiting to find out whether she is going to attempt to fight me for joint custody of S7, or agree to the terms she's been presented, and move on as quickly as possible.

Took S7 to Cub Scouts last night. My first night as "den mother". We had a good time, and I had another father volunteer to be co-leader with me, so I'm not facing the full responsibility/pressure of doing it every meeting.

Funny, after no contact at all with S7 unless she saw him face to face, STBXW is suddenly calling him to say goodnight each night. Guess it took receiving D papers to get her to do this, since I've asked her numerous times to call. I just pass the phone directly to S7 and let them talk for a few minutes.

Gotta get back to work. Have a good day!