W said, "what are we going to tell the kids?" I said, "You mean about our divorce?" She said, "No, about selling the house." Me: "Oh! We will tell them nothing until there is something concrete to discuss." She: "You talk about divorce alot." Me: Silence.
She wanted to discuss a February training session in another city. I told her I would not trust that for one minute. I said I am not telling you what to do, but I do not trust you. She suggested I go with her. I said, 'I would consider it if she wanted me to go but I am not intersted in going so I can keep tabs on her. That is not who I am or what I am about.'
This led her to a discussion of her feelings about our relationship, her emotional problems, her A. I validated like an elecrtified validation machine. (You know the type.) God! There was sooo much BS! But she was calm and open. So I tried to encourage that behavior. She is still minimizing the impact of the A. She is still in an incredibly selfish mode. she is still angry at me. It is all about how her needs are not met. I held my tounge. (Previously, I would have shown her anger, cold rationality, or ascorbic wit.) I hope the counselor has the cajones to tell her when she is FOS because that ain't my job. ANYBODY KNOW WHEN SHE WILL START TO WAKE UP TO THE SMELL OF HER OWN CRAP?
Then, she said, "I don't want a divorce. But you may be happier with someone else." And, words to the effect, 'Seperation is less likely.' I did not respond to either.
The rest of the night I was cordial. She acknowledged my presense and seemed to comprehend that I have the continued right to exist. She even suggested the "we" take the kid to dinner tonight. I assume she didn't have a mouse in her pocket. This morning she asked, "How did you sleep?" I was shocked to learn she was actually speaking to me.
I have one question for anyone: What in the hell am I doing?
