In the M, whatever W needed of me in terms of scheduling I would do because I wanted her to succeed in her job. I saw that as the key to relieving her stress and creating a better M.
Most of the time I did it willingly, but there were times she could see it bothered me to adjust my schedule so she could always work.
I know she felt guilty that it appeared as if she was always working and then had nothing left for me when she got home. But she also resented the fact that I could adjust my schedule to fit hers. She wanted the flexible job.
I don't know how boundaries would have helped there. I know this, after taking a personality test, I handled W's stress the wrong way. When she'd get down over work, I'd tell her she's working too hard and needs to take a break. That's my personality.
She is a very driven individual. Saying that to her probably infuriated her and led her to believe I didn't know her at all. I should have instead said something like "you are the hardest working person I know, I know you'll figure this out."
That would have showed I have confidence in her.
Too late now.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
