WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

Okay.. so I spoke too soon.. WAH called me at work yesterday in response to an email I sent him asking about financial transactions I didn't recognize on our joint account.

His voice was very cold and angry. Said that obviously I didn't care about him according to my comment about not worrying about where he was living. Said that I had no idea who he was and haven't tried to find out in the last 10 years of our marriage. Says couldn't work out between us because we'd be fighting in front of the kids all the time. (This was volunteered by him, I didn't get a chance to say anything). Said he thought that I probably thought about OW all the time and was angry and bitter. (Told him I didn't think of her at all anymore actually. Symptom, not problem in our R). He said that we never had a M, or a R. I asked what about the 5 yrs before marrying, what was that? He said we were just friends "hanging out".
Said all communications were to be about finances or kids. (Gee, that's what I WAS doing...) Said wants to get custody agreement on paper as new year, new start, new life.

*sigh*

This all hurt a lot more than I thought it would. I keep reacting the way I always do expecting him to be the rational, calm man I married when I hear his voice or see his face. This man is really the complete opposite but he has the same voice which brings me to my knees inside. I keep saying things that set him off.

I don't think I can put off the custody paper thing. He wanted to meet to discuss it but I'm not strong enough yet not to break down in front of him. (I didn't tell him that, just said I was too busy this week to meet. He got sarcastic and said "I'm sure you have an hour in your busy life to see me." I told him not this week, that it could wait a few weeks. He said no way, then HE would be too busy.) So he's going to send me what he'd like in it and I'll revise it with what I want and go from there.

Looks like I have to master the "breathe and think before you speak" trick to avoid verbal diarrhea in the future...