What to do when H doesn't contact?

[dday101798]

Ahhhhh,

Sorry to say, but I can't stress enough how much communication gone awry really messes things up.

Understandable that you were upset that S19 was upset with your H's lack of conciderateness, but yes, the message sent, did not help. A message such as that to me just paints the picture that the relation between you all is a hostile enviornment and especially to a WAS an enviorment they would not want to return to weither or not they realize their part in creating it. This is highlighted by his comment "I knew this would start" which is his way of saying, 'nothing has changed, why bother?'

If given the chance to do over, I would have done something along the lines of 'helping' H through the situation, such as one message "Did you send S19 a card and we didn't happen to receive it yet?" and let H respond. He may opt to take care of it on his own. If not, let him know you'll handle it for him. This would be a more crafty approach to say to your H, yeah, ya messed up, but we're a team and promote a warmer atmosphere. In their own way, the WAS knows their wrongs, it's just wither thye chose to accept them or not at this moment in time.

edit - point being, there are ways to show/tell your H he's hurting you all, but proper communication is so critical to everything.