I have an appointment with a couselor today. I went to him once before. It was a good session. He made me feel better basically saying I should be happy to be out of the marriage because my XH seemed to have a personality disorder and I seemed to be exhibiting signs of being a battered wife. I was never physically battered by the way. But he was very cruel to me.
I wish I could forget the past. Even this morning I wake up thinking over and over how could this have happened. That I have no future. That I'll never be happy again... Just really negative things. And I pray and pray that I will just be able to be more positive.
I think the fact that I live in a very small place makes things tough. All my friends are married. All are building their lives with their partners. Having children, building their dream homes and at 40 I just don't even know what's going to happen to me.
I am so afraid... But I need to be strong and I need to move on and I need to just be positive. I just have the tendency to look at the glass half empty rather than half full.
