True i would have to agree about him loving her more than me. He is more angry at the fact that He didn't raise her that way but doesnt' want to cause any more trouble either. He wants to handle it a different way as to ensure she is being good without going the route of saying anything to her about the whole ordeal. He has said that she has seemed more down over the last couple weeks and he could use that to his advantage to keep her around FIL and MIL. The "worried parents syndrome"
No question he should be worried. I would too.
But, if she suspects you are tampering with her family (and she will think you are trying to turn them against her even though I know your intentions are honorable), that could blow up in your face. And, even if FIL knows she's doing wrong, it would be unusual for him to take your side over hers. He has to live with her as his D for the rest of his life. He doesn't have to live with you as a SIL.
My old high school football coach used to say as many accomplishments as we achieve, we must never lose sight of the fact that we are all (and he meant EVERYONE) expendable and replaceable.
And, unfortunately, as a SIL, and not a son, you ARE replaceable. FIL might not like it, but that's the truth.
