Ok I cant believe I am posting this but here goes. This guy I am seeing has an addiction to porn. Now him looking at porn doesnt bother me, but it is affecting our sex life. First, I would like to express that we shouldnt be having sex outside of marriage in the first place, and he feels the same way, so I am struggling with that on top of this BUT sometimes I think he is using the religion as an excuse not to have sex. I say it is affecting our sex life for two reasons.
1)He NEVER initiates sex (he did once or twice when we first met). The first time we had sex, it was amazing, he was very attentive and romantic.
2)When we do have sex, he always wants to be the one in control, doesnt like me on top and there is no oral sex involved for me ( I have even asked for it, we have talked about this and he says he has to be in the mood for it). There is also no affection toward me no foreplay unless I am the giver. Sex or making love as he sometimes calls it, it just "get to the good stuff", which means him in contol until the deed is done. Its like I am in a porn video. Always from behind mostly. Now he does make sure I am taken care of, or so he thinks (mean but the truth).
I have tried talking to him about him initating sex and he just says we shouldnt be having sex in the first place. Which I cant argue with. I have said, yes we shouldnt but while we are, can you please be more blah blah blah, etc. I have asked him point blank if he like giving oral sex and he says he has to be in the mood for it. I ask him why cant he be romantic like the first time we made love and he says the same thing, I have to be in the mood for it. I know he has watched so much porn, that he believes that is what sex is suppose to be like. He has watched it for years and I am afraid this will not change. Also, he is so use to masterbating that when I visit or he visits on the weekends, he isnt in the mood for sex. He takes care of himself during the week. This is why he doesnt initate it I believe. I dont think it has nothing to do with the attraction to me, its all him but what do I do. Suggestions?
