Dusk at Dawn.

[chatterbug]

well speak of the devil. The phone rings. I get the spiderly tingles going. Let it go. I am thinking if it rings again in 10 and then in 10 again its ladybug. Time to see if I can pass the test of controlling a conversation based on my feelings to day. Time for some 180's on my stitch. I am in complete control now. So out of the dark I go. To resolve a few issues.

Talked to ladybug for 30 minutes. Finalized everything. Papers signed in a week. She comes and gets the rest of her stuff on the 23rd. House for sale Apr 1st. Going to communicate directly for the seperation papers. Back date it to the 15th of Sept. Communicate directly over taxes.


Conversation goes like this

LB:Cutter we need to talk.
C: Ladybug. Ok lets talk ( I pause and mute the phone and take a few deep breaths. And go. Lets do this. Lets see how strong I am. Lets see if I can take complete control of this conversation. Lets see if I can do what all LBS should do. Take Complete control of their lives )
Silence
C: Ok what do you want to talk about
LB: I have a few loose ends we need to tie up cutter. We need to talk about them now.
C: Ok what do you want to talk about

When she complained about me sitting on the house to april. She said that she was upset that I made a decision that affected the both of us without her consent and that it was very unconsiderate. I replied back that since she had made a few decisions over the last year that affected me without my consent that were very unconsiderate I was allowed to follow a choice decision that we had talked about in Sept. without any additional input.
My words were as follows
C: Well since you have made a few decisions about my life without being considerate of my feelings I have decided that I am staying in this house until April 1st. On that day this house goes on the market. Next topic that you wish to talk about
Silence 1 minute
C:Ok. Since there are no more this conversation is .....
Pause 15 seconds
LB: I have a few more items to talk about
Pause 15 seconds
C: Ok. Your stuff. There are a few options here.
Option 1. I take all your stuff you left behind and dump it in the trailer and your dad picks it up
LB: Well I do not think its fair to have my dad in the middle. Whats your second option?
C: You tell me.
LB: well I will come over and get it.
C: Well I am not here this day. You can come there.
Silence about 30 seconds
C:Ok what is next on the list
Silence about 20 seconds
C:Ok. Seperation papers. They are ready to be signed. So lets get this over with.
Silence about 20 seconds
LB: OK. But I do not want IM to see them again. Only when he witnesses them. Can you send back the updated ones.
C: OK. I will email them to you on friday. I agree he can just sign them and we will work this one out between us. Also taxes. We can work this one out as well. I am filling seperatly.
LB: Well should we not wait to see what is best for both of us.
C: Well we are seperated since Sept. When you left so I file seperatly. ( Knowing that I have kept paying all the tax deductable savings and she has been spending her money travelling around the world ... I warned her... oh well )
Silence again 30 seconds... I can really tell this conversation is not going according to plan. So I toss a curve ball
C:Thank you very much for allowing me to continue my relationship with FIL, MIL, SIL Neice and nephew. I am glad you did not get in the way.
LB: Well I want to talk to you about that....
C: Go on.
LB: I was upset I did not get a dvd when neice was over there. She said that I was inconsiderate of her feelings about getting the dvd to her before the holidays.
C: Well I am not at your beck and call and I was angry that you used neice as a messanger. IF you really needed the dvd you could rent or buy it.
LB: I will not buy a dvd I own. You were not considerate of my feelings and not civil there.
C: I can see how you feel that way.
LB: and your silence was not being considerate.
C:I was going through the grieving stages. Denial, Anger , Bargining, Depression and finally acceptance.
Silence. So I let the word acceptance linger
C: I decided that I would not make rash decisions. So I took time to figure out what I wanted to do. And when I was ready. I decided that it was time I let you know. I know now what I want.
Silence for a minute
LB:If you hear something you do not like or feel it hurts you you can always call me to clear it out. There are rumours.
C:Do not worry I tell everyone I do not want to hear about your life as I am no longer apart of it. I am assuming you are doing the same because you are no longer apart of my life
Silence.
I just wait now to see what she says.
LB:I wanted to talk to you about the upcoming wedding. I do not want...
Silence.
C:Please finish the sentance.
Pause. Waiting to see if she will say the word adultery.
C:Please complete your thought then.
Silence.
C:I am still waiting. Do not start a sentance and wait for me to finish it.
Silence.
C:Here is the thing Ladybug. I do not bad mouth you to anyone about being the maid of honour. I never once said you should step down.I perfer that people for their own opinion of you based on your actions over the last year
Silence.
C:Do not worry I will be civil at the wedding.
LB:How do you see us communicating down the road?
C:Smile and wave.
Silence 10 seconds.
C:Do not worry I will be civil. That is all I see.
C: anything else?
LB:How is your friend who stayed at the house? Is he still there?
C:t is good. I convinced him to go back and work on his marriage. And he is back there doing the hard work to fix his marriage. All in all it cost him about 80K.
LB:Its all about the money then?
C:the money is the least important part of all of this.

NOW I AM THINKING. YEA I JUST LOOPED YOU INTO A R TALK. ONE WHERE YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE THE ANSWER. HERE IS THE FINAL DROP THE ROPE.
LB: So do you see us working this out like them.
C: I would have to take some time to think about that. But in the current situation I do not see anything.
25 second pause.
C: So ladybug. How do you think.
LB: Repeated my words in the current situation I do not see anything.
C: Well I got to go now. I have hockey. Have a good night ladybug and take care.
LB: good night cutter.

I hang up