Thank you for the input. Soleil, I am very immature at times. My wife used to complain that we didn't do enough together. She would tell me things that I was doing that hurt her, and I would take offense at it and we would get into a fight. Looking back now I wish I would have just listened to my wife and tried to see things from her perspective. I didn't. She was telling me our marriage was bad (how she felt) and I felt she was wrong and told her that. How stupid of me!! To tell her that what she was feeling was wrong because I didn't feel it was that way. My wife would tell me if things didn't change then she was going to leave. She said this a lot. BUT toward the end she stopped saying that. She stopped telling me we needed to fix the marriage. So I just assumed everything was okay now in her world. She just got tired of telling me. She believes I never will change, she will come home and be unhappy, things will be the same. I don't want them to be. I want to change myself but I still bring up the relationship.
Take this for example. Last night she came to the house to do something on the internet for some classes she is going to take. So afterwards she starts crying a little because she misses our house (thats what she said). So of course I bring up the relationship, that she could come back, that we need to work on it, that by not working on things we are just letting everything go. Today she calls and we are back to square one, shes talking about divorce again. All because I can't quit pressuring her. I need to stop this NOW before I push her all the way away. I think today I am telling myself I will NOT bring up the relationship with her and I am going to try what you said Trent...just to talk to her only when necessary. I hope I can do this. I pray I can.
