I ended up in an R discussion with W yesterday....
She still doesn't see what there is to save in our R so she is still in the thick of the fog. I validated again how I contributed to her unhappiness w/o taking responsibility for her having an A. I again told her that her R with OM is preventing us from working on our R and she started shaking her head as if no. I calmly said STOP, we both know he is a factor in what is going on between us right now. She said nothing immediately after this. She later said that she had wanted to S to see if we would miss each other and that I might be surprised and not miss her. I told W that I already knew from my standpoint, I have been without you for a year now and know that I miss you (bad DB but I felt honesty was appropriate in this particular situation).
I left and went upstairs to get ready to go to the gym. Came back down and she was crying a little and said "thanks, you said some really nice things". I am thinking WTH! I don't know what she meant. Was it the validation of her loneliness? Was it my admitting that I had missed our emotional connection? IDK.
I go to the gym and come back and it is as if none of it had happened. Strange..........
I am confused as usual. I did a lot of reading on Retrouvaille today and really thought that if I could get W to go it would help us work this out. Thought about sending her the info, especially their article on the four stages of marriage (W thinks our problem is unique to us and therefore not normal or solvable). I came home, went to the gym and abandoned that idea for now.
