feel like giving up - talk to me!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I have no control over his behavior. He has been sending me mixed messages and I'm sick of it

actually, when people are here on these boards, I usually tell them that the mixed messages, the confusion, is a good sign. for most people, we get on here when our S doesn't want anything to do with us. You are not in as bad of a position, because your spouse is still confused. He's not wanting out, he's not wanting to leave, he's just not sure.

confusion is okay..it means they don't want to lose you, but they are not sure that things will change or ever be better, and when there is someone else, it makes that decision harder because they think it could be "greener on the other side", especially when the LBS doesn't show them consistent change, or a reason why it can be greener on the side they already have.

So, don't lose hope with mixed signals. I remember being happy when my H was doing that!