As the saying goes...You can only help someone who wants help.

I am guessing that your brother may be thinking that if he is docile or the blame guy that maybe it will win her back. Not so. He needs to show a backbone. He need to have strength, honor and leadership right now. But you know that.

Here is a bit of advice my cousin gave me when I informed him about my W exposing the kids to her affair with OM. I took his advice and retained a very good lawyer. Maybe your brother could eventually be compelled to protect himself, his kids and his dignity...

Quote:
Oh JEEZ!! Good Gawd that's a shock.

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through so much cr@p. I know that what I'm reading about here is just the tip of the iceberg.

As you know I've been around the block a few times. I also have spent a lot of time around the job box with construction workers, the majority of which seem to be divorce prone, so you might imagine that I have heard all kinds of horror stories. I've written a couple myself. If there is one piece of advice that I would give you, is strike hard and strike fast.

Do NOT show mercy in the beginning. There is always time for that later if she comes around but keep that big gun loaded and cocked.

You WILL regret ignoring these words.

Be the exception to the rule. Don't be the guy (because there are lots of them) that says later: "I wish I would have listened to you but I didn't think she was like that"

Or "I really got f'd" "I should have" ...blah blah blah. I'm not saying hammer her right out of the gate. But you need to be prepared to do so in the office with your lawyer. You can always call him off if things don't go your way but it doesn't work the other way around.

I'm talking change the locks, file restraining orders. LOCK her out of your life until YOU can dictate how far back into your life and your wallet YOU are willing to let her into.