Hi SD, if it makes you feel any better, I had much of the same attitude at the beginning of my sitch. The blame, the personality swings, the entitlement, the denial.
It's not easy, but you already know what has to be done, you've said as much. Leave what's outta your hands to God.
Don't mind read or assume too much if you can avoid it. Plunging into an actual D or S could create a new crisis in her mind and her actions could surprise you in a positive way. Not that you should revolve your hopes around that.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
I knew this was coming, I did. But, I had no idea that she was going to jsut flick a switch, and go right back to where we were. Evidently all that we talked about-the tears, the hugs, the trembling, were just BS. That is hard to take, as it felt genuine.
Now that she is back at work, friends around her, things back to "normal", no pesky responsible husband in the way-she becomes Linda Blair and her head spins in circles and spews pea soup at me.
I dunno, it all seems so unfair to me, and my stupid expectations.
I just need to accept the fact that I am getting divorced from this W, and that is that.
Last edited by SoldierDad; 01/05/1001:51 AM.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
This is complete script and to be expected. No matter how "nice" you are, the D will be unpleasant and she will not get what she thinks she should be entitled to. She will interpret this as you being nasty and will throw all sorts of blame your direction - even though none of this is what you are asking for.
Just stay strong and stand up for yourself. One line that someone gave me: "You can have your freedom w, but you can't have mine"
Quote:
I replied: W, I will let my attorney handle all of that.
Perfect Answer!
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
It seems my W is headed back into the fog. She says she notified OM, but THAT isn't what is keeping her from working on the M - it is the distrust I have in her!!!
I just KNEW as soon as she got back to work, around her "friends" and others that this was going to happen.
In all likelihood, SD, this has been her orientation throughout. As many of us tried to warn you, her remorse seemed faux, and her tears, crocodile.
I'm sorry. I know this stings. My wife did the EXACT same thing, with a seemingly heartfelt hug and tears in our driveway one evening, telling me how sorry she was that she hurt me. It turned out she was just worried about me going for full custody, and when I told her my position hadn't changed, she immediately went back to the spew.
Your "leave it for the attorneys" answer was very good, btw.
It's extremely unlikely that she ever left him. At BEST, they probably made some "we'd better cool it for awhile, until things die down" arrangement. At worst, they were still "business" as usual.
