I completely agree with what you're saying. A cheating spouse makes a conscious choice to engage and continue in an affair without an overall regard for the family.
And a mature person would admit it, provide an opportunity for counseling, working it out. And that in the end it's a joint, not a surprise decision. Taking responsibility for one's actions.
And I never was interested in being physical with anyone but my spouse and would scurry away if any one showed any interest in me or if there was temptation.
So adultery comes down to selfishness, a sense of entitlement, lying, breaking vows in conjunction with the physical act.
And G'Man... why not have only cheating folks pay the condom penalty which would go into a fund for required marriage retreats of said condom buyers!
