when did my thread become Confessions of Shoe Shopaholics
Sorry about that...I got excited with the Louboutins lol...However look at the good that came out of it...AFG is up 4 new pairs and MNT is wearing heels all week
P.S. Your lunches for the coming week sound fabulous - Yay you (((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
My BFF phoned me with a little bit of news she had heard about H and his travels. As I have noted previously, my H is the Man of Mystery who at times comes and goes with a vague approximation, if any, of when he will be back. In 2009 I would have been interested and would even have spent much of the day dissecting and analyzing what it meant. Today I just listened politely then told her even more politely and kindly that I had Left it Behind in 2009. That I was not interested and indeed would no longer be discussing H because it was in no way, shape or form productive to moi. She took it well and I don't think I was too harsh. She is my BFF after all.
A funny thing happened on the way to 2010. I DECIDED that I was done,finito, finished with my foolish behavior. To wit, focusing on H, talking about H (execept to you guys, LOL) and obssessing about H. Let's add, pursuing H. The last one is not a problem because disrespect and deceit are not exactly a turn on.
The other interesting thing was that I saw some of my H's friends today. Now, last year I would have avoided them like the very plague becaue I would be wondering do they know? Have they seen him with anyone? Today, I SASHAYED over to them with my brightest smile and chatted and laughed for a while. Let them tell him how fabulous his W is looking.
In 2009 I forgot that I was a diamond and not a piece of cubic zirconia. But guess what H? My memory is back...
That will get back to H faster than.... you know what I mean. I like that.
Originally Posted By: Kara
A funny thing happened on the way to 2010. I DECIDED that I was done,finito, finished with my foolish behavior. To wit, focusing on H, talking about H (execept to you guys, LOL) and obssessing about H. Let's add, pursuing H. The last one is not a problem because disrespect and deceit are not exactly a turn on.
ME TOO! I am going to darken up a bit ( my motified version of going dark) and I will no longer talk to anyone about my emotions and/or fears except for my friends here. I will not pursue, R talk, OM talk, and I am not gonna get all dolled up and walk up to my W's froends to talk and laugh with them. It could be fun, but would not send W the desired message.... ya know, if I'm all dolled up! LOL
Kara, God Bless you my friend. Good Luck with everything, I will chwexck in on you from time to time, and pray for you everyday!
Me 43 / W 40 T 29 / M 15 S-18 11/4/09-ILYBINILWY 11/10/09-Separated 12/1/09-W admitted EA 12/5/09-W admitted PA 12/24/09 W say "I love you"
"A GOOD MARRIAGE IS NOT ONE WHERE PERFECTION REIGNS"
The other interesting thing was that I saw some of my H's friends today. Now, last year I would have avoided them like the very plague becaue I would be wondering do they know? Have they seen him with anyone? Today, I SASHAYED over to them with my brightest smile and chatted and laughed for a while. Let them tell him how fabulous his W is looking.
In 2009 I forgot that I was a diamond and not a piece of cubic zirconia. But guess what H? My memory is back...
Today was one long day , so this is a drive by post
I had my appointment with the IC and it was an eye opener in many respects. I think that this will be a really useful exercise for me in terms of getting to analyze myself and having the input of a trained person.
He did give me much food for thought and homework!!! in the form of some reading to do. I can already see my way to a saner 2010 and am glad that he is in my camp.
Oh well, there goes the Shoe Fund Money!!!
Talking to him has left me in a contemplative mood. One of the questions he asked was whether I would describe myself as controlling and I said no, but that my H had. IC noted that he had just met me so could not form an opinion but was led to ask the question based on certain things I had said during the session. When I got home I was discussing with 2 of my chosen circle and they both said they would describe me as having controlling behavior or being controlling. Hmmmm...Food for thought indeed.
I recognize that there was some validity to some of H's comments but at the end of the day this does not justify his behavior.
This is a journey for ME to get ME in the best , most healthy place possible, so self examination will be embraced and its all good. I don't shirk from asking myself and aswering the hard questions, even if I don't like the answers.
I feel a sense of calm. I am by no means perfect - who is? - but I am working on myself. This is not about H and his behavior. This is about me and who I allow myself to be.
Well, it was a long day. I got a flat tyre today and before I could even lift a finger to change it, a gentleman dressed in a suit pulled over and changed it for me. Chivalry is certainly not dead or even comatose. It is alive and kicking. It is great when you can depend on the kindness of strangers!!!
Sorry about that...I got excited with the Louboutins lol...However look at the good that came out of it...AFG is up 4 new pairs and MNT is wearing heels all week 
