If he really is so resistant to working things out, file for divorce. Maybe that will serve as a wake-up call.
For whatever reason, he doesn't respect you. I don't see how that is going to change until he is faced with losing you, at the very least.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement