I opted not to do the family time (as much as I wanted to). I think if anything I need to be consistant in my approach. If there was not an OM involved this decsion would have been a no brainer.
As far as the D goes, I need to sign. Everytime we dicuss the D it reminds us of the situation. At least having the D behind us may allow us (her)to focus on positive things, or at least less on the negative things. If I saw doubt in her eyes or some mixed signals I would likely try to slow things down but I am not seeing any of that. Like you said, she is in the "love phase" with the OM so her mentality is likely not going to change. If that ends (and I have my doubts) then we can see what happens.
I need to emotionally remove myself from her and accept the situation for what it is.
