hey, my holidays were great thank you! cept the part where my husband puked in my truck. yes, sad huh. thankfully most of it fell on his pants... then he almost fell face first down my moms stairs!! obviously he is not holding his alcohol well! lol
NIIIIICE! LoL How was he the next day? Lots of Motrin?
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
as for your boundaries, I'd like to hear them, if you would share. you've been in this part of the sitch for a while, and if you feel ready to step it up, then go for it. (along with the flirting too.
ST, we just had a really good break w/the kids, and H being home most of it. We had a superb last few days, and have really enjoyed our time as a family.
With that said, H relies on me to be his "best friend." He talks and talks and talks to me, but will NOT EVER bring up us, or how he really feels, etc... He just... talks. So, the boundary I want to set w/his phone (which, the more I type, the more it seems silly because he's always had it close at hand) is for me. I need to feel some security here. I need to feel like I shouldn't be second guessing... And, if he can't accommodate my feelings regarding it, he's getting nothing but silence from me, if we're not relating about the kids.
Between the exercise, naturopath assistance w/metabolism, some great podcasts I'm listening to from my pastor, and some confidence in overcoming my fear, I'm going to get somewhere. I just hope it's where I'd like to be.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Sol.... Hey! The talking isn't a nuisance. I was just saying that's what he enjoys w/me. So, if he doesn't care enough to honor the boundary, why should I give him that enjoyment?
Hope that makes sense!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
This is really handy, working from home, on my laptop, atop my new HEATED MATTRESS PAD! Especially when it's -13 (w/wind chill) outside! I may never rise again!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
so you mentioned H passed the test...are you talking about the phone issue?? what did you/he say?
and since he has always been stuck to the phone...this is gonna be a little hard. but if you make it out that you would like to regain more trust for him, and you've noticed that your having a harder time with it and feel it would help if he was more open with his cell phone, as it seems to be hidden more than it used to be.
I would try to make it as much about you as possible, so it doesn't sound like your blaming him for something (which he will probably think your overreacting, but your goal is to get him to be more open about it, so you don't want him to become defensive)
usually on subject regarding boundaries, I usually start with a question. like when my H was having "friendly" contact after we got back together I started..."H, I just wanted to ask you what you felt what appropriate with your contact with OW" then he said, probably none. so that was easy to go with! of course he started to get a little defensive during the convo saying he's not calling her and it's just as friends. lol but the best way to do things with a man is to try to get them to believe it's their idea. they don't want to be told what to do.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
