It's not a smooth upward arc you're seeking -- you're going to have ups and downs.
Someone once said about the stock market (and I think it applies to DBing, and Life, as well):
"It's like a man walking up a staircase, playing with a yo-yo. Don't focus on the yo-yo, going up and down. Focus on the overall direction the man is walking -- up or down."
Walk UP, woman. And don't let the downward yo-yo days get you down.
I thought once I made the decision & felt the peace, then my emotions would return to normal but I feel like I did back on day one with them swirling all over the place.
Good. It means you're normal.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Been reading along and relate strongly to your awakening and your desire to move on. You expressed it so poignantly, so beautifully. I'm right there with you!
The road forward, although challenging can only be easier. I liken the road we have travelled to one covered in snow which we have slowly but determinedly trudged through and constantly shovelled. There's been pot holes and detours and other debis in the way.
However, now it's still snowing but the deluge is over, although the road is still slippery. We travel cautiously but we can be more surefooted and more optimistic that the road ahead will be clearer still.
Up ahead we can see the days of winter giving way to a new season; the melting snow, the tiny green buds, the blossoming flowers and the rising sun show us that spring is in the air. Our spring is alive with the joy of so many new and rich possibilities.
Travel this path with confidence in your step and your eyes open for as you know the first signs of spring are already there!
I don't want to be the "bad guy" in the eyes of my children...
It isn't that I don't care what others think, I need to do what is best for me and them.
The constant chatter from others around me has eased finally however no one but you all knows of my decision and I plan to keep it that way for a few days...I don't need more chatter.
However as I sit here and think because you know that's what I do when I am at work as opposed to...I don't know...Working lol, I know in my heart I will be ok...
There is still a very small part of me that wants to work it out and I am never one for closing any doors so who knows what the future holds.
All I do know is I am going to start treasuring myself more, honoring myself more & respecting myself more...
Someone once told me I was a jewel in His crown (yep I did - I told myself that cause I am awesome like that ) and I need to start shining like that jewel.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls for he has no one to help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Reading your post about your decision made me cry. At work!!! I had to shut the door to my office and collect myself.
I know how much you wanted another outcome and I know that this decision was not taken lightly. I was so moved by your words that I am now at a loss for words.
You will make it. You are blessed and a blessing. I hope you don't leave these Boards because we need our Serenity (crying again, mascara running,looking like a racoon).
Oh, when I get my thoughts together I will post to you again.
We would never question your decision. You are the one walking in your shoes (shoes again!) and you feel the pinch. You are a very strong woman and don't ever believe otherwise for a second.
Thank you for coming and sharing your kind words with me.
Originally Posted By: Cas05
We travel cautiously but we can be more surefooted and more optimistic that the road ahead will be clearer still.
Up ahead we can see the days of winter giving way to a new season; the melting snow, the tiny green buds, the blossoming flowers and the rising sun show us that spring is in the air. Our spring is alive with the joy of so many new and rich possibilities.
This was an absolutely beautiful way to put it! I am going to print this out and hang it on my computer so when I second guess myself (which I am very prone to do) I will read your words, close my eyes and form the mental picture in my mind.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Another one crying - Y'all are gonna make me feel bad.
You are right my friend - This wasn't the outcome I wanted however after recent events, I knew I needed to protect my boys before anything else.
However like I said before, I am not one to close any doors and who knows what the future holds.
I am not going anywhere anytime soon - Who would help me expand my shoe fetish?
Go clean up your raccoon eyes, finish your work (which is more then I have done today BTW lol), have a great rest of the day at work and know I will still be here when you get off work.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
) and I need to start shining like that jewel.