Did you now? Could she tell you felt that way? I am not saying you are...but it seems like there is an ammount of smugness coming off that.
Quote:
I one thing I have noticed, is when I back off a little, but am there lovingly and supportive, she comes back to me... but then when we talk about the future, us, any of that crap...it is like, as she said, "the wound being split open again".
You noticed that, so you should heed that. When she is around you have the opportunity to shine. Not act, by the way, but to shine in your changes, the ones for you not her. You bring up the R, and she goes away, doesn't get to see them.
MLC (to me) = some sort of trauma in their childhood that they couldn't cope with as a child and presto chango...they do it later (now) AND confusion aout what they want.
About Affairs.
Bradley. the number of LBS posters here whose MLC spouse had an affair...emotion or physical is high enough to suggest that you prepare for that news coming out. If she is having an affair or did, you will know shortly afterward if you can deal with it. Its like asking how you would respond to your dog talking to you, until it happens you don't know.
Puppy is a little more...blunt about it.
Mach is also right in this.
Look into the mirror and see your faults, kill the ones you don't like. REALLY kill them. Become better.
The real success here aren't those that save their marriage. They are the ones who improve themselves and become better for it, let me say those people...they are the ones who's new relationships...either with their spouse or someone new will not fall into these waters again.
Done right DBing is a relationship way of life, not a quick fix.
Last,
Congrats on becoming a cardiac surgeon. Really, that is awesome.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
