WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

Just when I thought things were settling down I get a msg from W this morning about me contacting OM's GF (again). She wants to know what I told her - whether or not it was fact or my own assumptions, etc. and what I said about OM who was only trying to be a friend to her, blah blah blah.

My initial response was "I don't care about your boyfriend's problems and you can tell him I said so when you talk to him today"

She asked again and I didn't really answer her, but told her that I focused on facts and in particular what OM did specifically. Other than that I didn't think it was any of her business (she doesn't exactly share details of what she discusses with OM with me).

This then devolves into some other things not worth repeating (she says she chose to seek out another man because I didn't treat her right , blah, blah, blah) but I finally told her:

I am willing to forgive you and hope you would forgive me as well if you want to work on the M. If you aren't willing to work on it we need to start working on a D. I can't stay with someone who won't honor our M, sleep in same bed, share life with me, or have sex with me. I have done everything I can for this I feel and am out of ideas at this point.

She then suggests for the Nth time us each alternately leaving each week so the kids aren't impacted, and that it is my fault for making their lives rough bccause I won't agree to this. I told her if we are going to D why do anything that would be a temporary arrangement? We should just negotiate the final agreement and implement THAT, not something that is interim. Why continue to drag this out?

This is where the rub is - she isn't ready to move towards D - she wants to stay in limbo by separating indefinitely but I won't. The only choice is to move forward firmly in one direction or another - work on M or work on D.

She dropped the conversation at that point (was done via txt msgs).