Play House

[Yoyowife]

I've seen lot's of stories on here about how friends and family deal with the OP. Some seem to embrace them and some seem to shun them. Let me share my latest experience with you.

My STBXH and his cousin have always been more like brothers than just cousins. He and his wife got married the same year we did. As a result we have always been very close. His wife is like a sister to me. Our children are very close. She of course has been very upset by all of this. For a long time STBXH didn't have much to do with his cousin. The cousin tries to fly under the radar, but his wife makes it clear how she feels about the situation. The cousin doesn't condone what STBXH did and has told me so, but still blood is thicker than water. Cousin is still very good to me though. The wife and I still do lots of things together.

On new years eve the cousin and wife were going to the casino to spend the night. Another couple was going with them. Another distant cousin, I never knew him, called and asked to join them and that STBXH and OW wanted to join them also. My friend (cousin's wife) was less than thrilled.

A few days before the trip STBXH and cousin were hunting. Yes, the OW was there also, they can't seem to let each other out of their sights ( a trust issue, perhaps?). STBXH pulled cousin to the side before the OW got finished hunting and said he needed to talk to him before she came back. He asked his cousin how his wife was handling them coming along for the trip. He also stated that the OW was nervous cousin's wife might say something to her. These were the cousin's words:

"You made this choice to be with her. If you are happy with her, that's fine. My wife will be fine, she will not be rude to her. Just like if Yoyo brings a man to my house I will not be rude to him. But, don't expect wife to act like she is glad to see her and become good friends with her. Women hold grudges for a long time. She will be civil to her, but not act all excited to see her, that's not going to happen."

I was very pleased the cousin stood up for his wife and me. I think STBXH was expecting him to say that everything would be just fine and dandy with no repercussions. It's like he just thinks everyone should just accept her and erase me out of their lives. It's kind of hard to erase 25 years of friendship.

By the way the trip ended up falling through.