Ten years ago, I went through what many on this site are currently going through. I fought for my marriage, learned a lot about myself. WHen my h decided to return to the marriage (he never actually left the house), he wouldn't go to counselling, wouldn't give up having lunch or dinner with his EA (I had also suspected a PA in addition to the EA). A year or so later, he was cool and distant, not interested in sex, and I suspected it was another EA. He stopped any approach to me, and to be fair, so did I.
Three years ago, he announced he was leaving in a counselling session (only reason he went was to tell me this). I decided to not push or probe, just let him have his angst. Last year I said he either had to get back in the marriage or leave by Jan 1, and he chose to stay. But still no sex. On the first day of school this year, he said he was leaving. This time he did, Nov 1. Before he went however I hired a computer forensics guy (perfectly legal).
What I discovered was pretty shocking: affair during my pregnancy 10 years ago, that continued for a year or more (not the same person as the EA, either). Affair 7 years ago. Affair 3 years ago. Affair last year and that's the one he left for. However, in the four years between affairs, he was cruising gay sites, and meeting men in the afternoon for casual sex, coming home, plopping his butt down in the chair to eat dinner with his family.
Does anyone else have any experience with this? Is there anything I should be thinking about re children and their exposure to him?
