He is just establishing a BOUNDARY. Since the subject of introducing new relationships to the kids was talked about in C, I think he has every right to remind her again. If he was "controlling" he would have actually done something to prevent it. Establishing boundaries is a GOOD thing. It shows what kind of stuff he's not willing to tolerate.
He's simply saying he doesn't want her to bring the OM (or any OM) around the kids, and it appears to be based on his personal opinion that she will be irresponsible or "confusing" for the kids. That is controlling behavior.
A boundary is about his feelings about acceptable behavior, along with a stated consequence for choosing not to respect the boundary. To paraphrase PDT:
Quote:
"You can't see OM" = controlling "I feel it is disrespectful to me and to our marriage to see OM, and if you continue to do so I will file for divorce" = boundary
What is the penalty, should she choose to bring OM around the kids? Is he going to push for sole custody and no visitation? If so, on what grounds?
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
