Yesterday my daughter and I were playing the new Mario game on the Wii. She'd pick up my character, carry me around and throw me off. I'd be hollering that that was unfair. (It hurt my feelings). She'd wail that I made her die but when the same thing happened in reverse (I died) it was no big deal. At one point I observed that she was happiest when we were being persnickety to each other. She cuddled sweetly into my shoulder.
Over the night I realized I take things too personally. When her brothers and her get into that rhythm it's full of barbs but good cheer. It reminds me that I don't know how to 'play.' Growing up my family's teasing was brutal, the former spouse's was cruel. I'm a sea anemone when it comes to verbal taunting even when it's harmless.
So.. today I was calmer, didn't react like each word was a barb meant to injure, just joined in the play. I have a ways to go.. letting go of assumptions and learned patterns. And teaching my daughter where to draw the line between playing and being mean.
