Boundaries are NOT about controlling another person (which Kevin is trying to do). Boundaries are created to establish a healthy foundation in which an individual can grow, learn, improve and flourish.
Boundaries must be enforced therefore what Kevin is trying to establish is not a boundary as there is NO WAY to enforce it. He can merely make a request however his W is under no obligation to honor his request. Even an attny told him the same thing yet somehow our suggestions along with the suggestions of a DIVORCE ATTNY mean we are telling Kevin NOT to DB and try and save his marriage. The only reason Kevin cannot divorce bust is Kevin. Not us. Not anybody.
Boundaries would be doing many of the things we suggested he do such as breaking apart the finances and other small tasks that would allow him to flourish as a MAN and for a *very* long time he was not a man in his marriage.
Just a week ago Kevin was equating boundaries with "being mean" and still did not seem to grasp that him setting boundaries had NOTHING to do with his W and her reaction or pushing her away.
Kevin has not a clue about detaching. Anger fuels him for a day or two then reality sets in and he CHOOSES to head back to square one.
Nobody can DB until the stop judging, stop obsessing and stop controlling. Nobody. Period.
