What it all boils down to is you don't trust your W to make good choices about the men she dates (because they are not you) so essentially you are saying she doesn't have your children's best interest at heart as a MOTHER as she operates on a different belief system than you do.
Your W considers you divorced. While speculation is not accurate I am willing to bet money as soon as both of your employment situations improve (so she doesn't have to pay support to you) and you both move to Plano she will file. She is simply passing time until both of you have your ducks in a row and she can get the easiest and cost effective D possible.
What I am troubled by is how you hold your W to a different standard than you do. You don't want to expose your children to the men she dates and have them "coming in and out of their lives". What about you? You start things and allow them to come and go out of YOUR life so how is that any different? You started AA then bailed. You started with a C then bailed because he was too young. Then you want balls to the walls "standing" with the support of your priest which essentially means you cycled through "self help" programs until you found somebody who agreed with you.
Stop and think... AA, a C and all the people who post to you can't be that far off base. What is the common denominator here? YOU!
And, I don't feel this is an unreasonable question. You are so worried your children will be confused by your W's boyfriend. Why were you NOT worried about their confusion when you and your W played happy family on Christmas and for your daughter's b-day? Do you think indulging a fantasy that is awfully far from reality confused them? I think it did. Somehow that is okay but bowling with OM is not? Do you think it might confuse them if they knew their dad drifted from one self help medium to the next and why can't he follow through or stick with anything?
And really, you were willing to confuse/indulge your children playing "happy family" why? All for a gamble you posted about for days to "win" your W back. IMO that is a very serious problem and far more pressing than your W taking the kids bowling with a male that is not you.
