K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[TrentC]

But I do not want her just bringing guys into and out of their lives and basically showing unstableness and that I was willing to look at court and custody options to try and prevent for their sake.

This is the part you don't get. Once you are divorced, you have no control and little input into who she sees or allows around the children.

What you say and what you do are completely at odds. You say you're not trying to control her, then turn right around and expect that you can dictate who she can be around your children with. That's not going to happen, barring a custody agreement in your favor; the only other possibilities would be if the new man poses a credible threat to your kids. ("Being your ex-wife's new boyfriend" does not constitute a threat, I'm sorry to say.)

I know it sucks, but that's part of the pain of getting divorced. Your kids are going to be hurt and confused, and you need to focus on YOURSELF and how YOU can be the best parent for them.

Kids are pretty sharp; they'll figure out quickly enough if mom is a trainwreck and act accordingly. The son of one of my friends told his biological father that he wanted nothing to do with him, as soon as the boy was old enough to legally decide for himself if he wanted contact.