This is a new year. Time for a new mind set. You say you are not trying to CONTROL. You say how you are not OBESSED with your CAUSE to get your WAW and Family back. But YOU are. You have to STOP being in DENIAL about YOUR ADDICTIVE/OCD Personality. Stop trying to CONTROL other people and other things. YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF and for some people with ADDICTIVE PERSONALITIES SELF-CONTROL is NOT always POSSIBLE.
I think you did great in your interaction with your WAW. When she started talking about her "friend" being around the girls. You should have cut her off in a RESPECTFUL yet WITH BOUNDARIES way and say "W you know how I feel about introducing our girls to OM. It will just hurt and confuse them. If YOU CHOOSE not to RESPECT my requests that is YOUR CHOICE..." PERIOD. You state YOUR BOUNDARY and that's it. No more CONTROL NO MORE THREATS!!! Show her you are a man. Not a mouse!!!
It's a good sign she is telling you these things. She is either trying to make you jealous or still hurt you. Regardless of the motivation she is still ATTACHED to you. Whether it's ATTACHMENT through LOVE or HATE it is still ATTACHMENT. It will piss her off even more if you DONT REACT EMOTIONALLY and just say "You know how I feel...PERIOD"
It works. In fact I know it works because my X called me over the weekend after realizing that she was possibly loosing custody of her daughter if I continued with my court proceedings and said she was now realizing all the mistakes she has made and is regretting doing what she did. She went on to say that she RESPECTS me for the way I fought for our M and our D4. She wished things could be different considering I am seeing someone that LOVES and RESPECTS me NATURALLY and is willing to FIGHT for me. Which is ulimately what everyone here wants.
It was hard to hear the sadness in her voice, but I tried for a long time to get her to see what I was saying. I had reached a point where I could not ever TRUST her again and that was my NUT. It was a hard decision, but one I needed to make for my SELF-PRESERVATION.
Just keep DETACHING and STATING your BOUNDARIES. The rest will all work itself out.
