Help, sorry I put this in a couple different forum

[LolaL]

MB I was the Queen of backsliding. The stories I could tell...

Missherlove has some great suggestions, as does givingitmy all.

Now, I want you to know this situation is not going to be resolved overnight. It will take months, even possibly years. You MUST be ready for that. I heard many of the same things that your H is saying to you. And I have been doing this for 2 1/2 years. It is only now that I can talk to my H w/o expecting anything.

There are no guarantees, but you will have a better chance if you really listen. You want to blow up? Do it here. Write a letter and post it here. Say all the things you want to say to your H here.

Just don't say them to him. When it comes to your H, you are Ms. Cool as a Cucumber.

Now you may think he will think that you don't care. That's okay. Let him. Because when you tell him you love him and care for him, that is where he is feeling controlled.

for now, you have to let him go.

Focus on you. It is easier said than done, but if you put it into practice, it does get easier.

Find a counselor. Trust me, they are great for teaching detachment, and venting your frustrations.

If he calls, don't answer the phone. Wait a half an hour before returning the call, and sound busy. He will wonder what you are up to...