Ultimately, I just want to DB the heck out of this and eventually win my W back and my family back. That is what would be best for all of us in the end.
This will never happen. Take this off your goal list. Until you do, you will continue to be stuck in this rut.
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Should I let the C know ahead of time that W has chosen to introduce the girls to her male "friend" 2 days in a row so she can decide whether or not to adress it with the girls or W?
Again, you are attempting to exert control here where you have none. STOP IT! Stop trying to manipulate and control what your STBXW is doing!
If you have your own C, and setup your own C with your kids, then you can bring this up with them, not by inserting yourself into what you STBXW is doing.
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The whole thought process of the custody battle was to try and protect my girls from having men brought in and out of their lives. Not a very stable way to grow up. Plus they don't need to be part of their married mom portraying this kind of behavior to them and involving them. Yes, I was looking at full custody. She wouldn't get pissed if I filed for D. But she would if I pursue full custody. That is when it would turn nasty by her.
Again, stop reacting to what your STBXW is doing, and trying to control this. You have no control over what your STBXW does, and whom she brings into her kids life, or hers, and you are not 'protecting' your kids by trying to exert control over this.
This is one of the key reasons why you are going to be getting D to begin with, as I can see the pattern you have of trying to control things in this fashion.
Don't tell me you don't see this, or that you don't understand why people think this way about you, because I do understand it, as I lived it in myself for years as well.
Go read "No More Mr. Nice guy" and "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" and really look at yourself in context of this, until you understand it. DB should not even be in your vocabulary until you do, and work on yourself.
Sorry for the 2x4, Kevin, I am, and I wished you would just stop and work on this, and not focus on your STBXW.
You need to see it, understand it, and really work on this in yourself before you can make much further progress.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
