Calling out the Piecers

[mishka422]

Dylan, buddy, I have no idea where any of that is coming from. It sounds like a crazy jealousy but I just can't imagine being jealous of a family member like that. The only advice I've got for you is what DB teaches.

Listen
Validate

She is entitled to her feelings and so are you. Arguing your point over and over with her will not get you anywhere. As long as you are listening and using the "I'm sorry you feel that way." phrase then what more can you do?

Would it be possible to sit and talk with her about a time schedule for easing back together? Is that what you want right now? Jumping in full throttle is not appropriate given all that has transpired. Maybe you could approach it as not good for the boys. Maybe something like this.

xw-"If you don't move back in here immediately and leave your cousin out of our R then I don't see this happening."

D-"I'm sorry you feel that way. My fear is that by moving back in suddenly the boys will be further confused. In my opinion it should be a gradual progression to ease them back into family life. How about talking through a slow increase in my presence in the house phased in over a 6 month time frame?"

Of course, whatever time frame you think is feasable would be indicated here.

It sounds almost like she is panicked that if you don't move back in right now she may lose you. You are going to need to reassure her without giving in on your own needs.