It does seem that women are less prone to cross that boundary line, although unfortunately that is not a rule. My H's ow is married as well, so I guess she did cross it, and so do many women. I don't even want to start a discussion here on why that happen, but for some women I know for a fact that the first idea is that if the man is married there is some safety to their own marriage. Less demands, more need to secrecy, so their own marriage is not in jeopardy - tthis was true in the case of my h's ow. It's interesting how a new term is coming into fashion now a days "f** -buddies" she used it a lot, as well as many of her friends. No responsabilities, no attachments just some extra marital sexual fun. The problem is that things are never that easy. After the first logical step - which is hard for me to understand, but who am I to judge? - things get a bit more confusing. Emotions start playing a role, and the tables turn. Now they want the whole thing, including the attachmente, the committment and the emotions. AFter a while her emails to her friends stopped being cold and calculated to year for his companionship, and wishing she had gotten married with him instead of her husband... and even going to pshychics hoping to get a validation and wishing to know when they would be together forever.
ANd sage.... we all would like to know all the stages .. but sometimes it's just sad, and doesn't bring any answers. I have - he gave me his passowrd for work to delete them - all the messages that they sent back and forth since they one. At the time, I saved them because I wasn't sure of how things were going to develop. And since them I saved my all hard drive to reformat and they're somewhere in a cd. I"m not even sure which, and although sometimes I am tempted to find them, I've been able to prevent myself. Reading them once was more than enough. SO I guess I do have a play by play in this situation, added to the fact that I once worked in the same place they did, and still had friends there, that know her, and forwarded to me many of her emails with comments on the situation. Do those messages give me any insight? Not really. DId it bring anything positive into my own situation? Not really. AM I better off knowing all that?? Not really. But I know that if I hadn't seen then I would be hoping to get a glimpse at what happened . ANyway, I'm probably still not making much sense here. I rarely make much sense anyway and being sick doesn't help Hugs nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
