Doc, you think we could be married to the same woman? It sounds like you wife is in turmiol. It almost sounds like she is in a state of panicy confusion. She is taking an interest in you and wondering what you are up to. Our Ws have carefully constructed system of reality. For those systems to work properly for them, we must behave according to thier plans. When we go off script, it is very disruptive.
Also, I picked up a good book over the weekend, Real Love in Marriage. You may want to have a look at it at some point. I am only a couple of chapters in but it is helpful in understanding behviors designed to obtain and prevent the loss of what the author calls "imitation love". He uses the analogy of a drowning man. If you were on the beach and someone was splashing you with water you may get irritated and if it persisted, angry. But if you learned the person was drowning, then your anger would immediately disipate and you would act to help the drowning person. In R, the person is drowning in the life long absense of real love. Essentially, they are anoxic. With this understanding, we can see, the author poses, that we need to learn that our spouses behavior has nothing to do with us but rather the absence of real love from thier life. Therefore, we are free to not react with anger and defensive when attached and can reach out to help them. Of course, this is complicated by the fact that we too have been deprived of real love in our own lives. So it sets up a situation where two people are thashing about trying to get thier heads above water and thier actions are the equivolent of emotionally dunking the other. (Yes, I wrote, "emotionally dunking". I now need some quality time with my chainsaw.) It is an interesting read thus far.
