Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

Thanks Gabby. I know you have your little one too and it is hard to GAL with a toddler and no money! I would love to go with gf's to dinner and a movie, but paying a babysitter on top of the night out would easily add up! May need to do that once in awhile though.

Today I am a bit happier..its sunny and 75 here today. I always feel better when the sun is shining and we can get outside. Baby is napping now, but when she wakes up we will hit the park.

[Reincarnated]

Please understand that I was very thick-headed with regards to my x...I know that you may only hear things when you are ready to hear them.

but you have had a professional point out to you that this man is a SOCIOPATH. Have you looked it up? If he truly is, he is INCAPABLE of having any kind of relationship.

Get a good book to read while he has SCHEDULED visits with the baby. Write a letter to a friend, or call them. You don't need to have so many conversations. You don't have to be rude, but you don't have to be more than civil, either. It will help you.
Having him send texts for you to "kiss the baby" is ridiculous. That is about keeping YOU reeled in. Tell him it's not necessary - the only communication should be ABOUT the baby - health issues, changes in schedule, things like that. He will have to work on his own relationship with her as she grows. Do you really stop everything you are doing when he texts and kiss her, saying its from her father?

Also, please stop reading his emails. Do you feel good about yourself when you do? Is it "moral?" Would you want anyone reading yours?
You have all the information you ever need, enough to last you five lifetimes, about what kind of person he is. It is just keeping you stuck.

Be grateful for your baby. Think of your life, and hers.
You are as addicted to him as he is to the substances (again, from someone who has been there and will be in "recovery" from the same thing for the rest of my life.)

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I really liked what Gabby said. when do you focus on you? not much when compared to exh.

For me, I think even the negative attention from exh is what I am craving. Its something and when I am tired, lonely, bored, mad, sad..whatever it feels good to have something. Its totally flawed thinking. I get that

try to start looking for your selfworth within yourself and God. It doesn't come from him. When you feel good about yourself, love yourself, and believe your huge worth, you don't need to get attention from him.

I agree that checking the emails isn't good. there is NO reason right now for you to make a decision to start dating him. therefore, there is no reason to check to see if he's "being good".

because of his history and his personality, he MUST be single for a year and be okay with himself, and be okay/away from his addictions before you should consider dating him.

in regards to the baby texts, I think that if you can handle him sending them, I think there is no problem with it. but ask yourself, are you able to handle it? there are lots of other things you can do besides that to detach yourself from him...including the emails... and taking your focus away from him period.

[Startingover2]

Still trying to detach. He is making quite easy as he is barely communicating. 2 give baby kiss texts all day yesterday. I feel sick for how he used me again. I hate myself for letting him get to me once again!

Its Monday and a visit day but not until later today. He may want to come by earlier but I will be 'busy'. Back to the schedule we go.

Going to get out of town this week and get the garnishment papers too!

[antlers]

Detatching is hard. We all know that. I think it takes discipline...a commitment. Fact is, there ARE people who can walk away from us, and when they do, we should let them walk. As much as it hurts, we should let them walk.

[K4D]

It sounds like you are coming to some realizations and acting upon them now. Can you keep it up? It will be a new challenge each morning for you. I think you can do it. You have full support here.

And go Cowboys!!! Good win yesterday. Shut those birds out. Unfortunately we have to play them again next week, but the odds say that it is in our favor according to past situations of the same thing. We shall see.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

It will be tough. When he sees me pulling away he gets nasty. Such a strange situation...he doesn't want me really, but yet gets mad when I pull away and put boundaries up.

I am guessing he will call this morning and want to stop by. When I say no it will begin.

I may be posting here alot to keep my strength up. He wears me down.

[K4D]

It will be tough. When he sees me pulling away he gets nasty. Such a strange situation...he doesn't want me really, but yet gets mad when I pull away and put boundaries up.

I am guessing he will call this morning and want to stop by. When I say no it will begin.

I may be posting here alot to keep my strength up. He wears me down.

That is what they do when you start setting boundaries. Then they grow into acceptance after you stay consistant.

Definitely keep posting here. That is what this site is for. Also pray for strength.

Kevin

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hey..when you say no, don't say it expecting him to be upset, say it in a happy voice like your excited to do whatever it is your doing.

(fyi, it's still MHO to give a heads up on the garnishment...even if you write a letter. he's gonna find out one way or another, and I think it's more respectful to tell him yourself..although I know it would be hard and scary, but that's just MHO)

you can do it!!!

[Startingover2]

hey..when you say no, don't say it expecting him to be upset, say it in a happy voice like your excited to do whatever it is your doing.

(fyi, it's still MHO to give a heads up on the garnishment...even if you write a letter. he's gonna find out one way or another, and I think it's more respectful to tell him yourself..although I know it would be hard and scary, but that's just MHO)

you can do it!!!

Ok St..I will act upbeat and happy even thru a text which is his favorite choice of communication!

Today he came for a visit and stayed an hour. Its been beautiful out so he wanted to take baby for a walk. I had to go with. I really didn't want to, but went. Things were fine and we acted like friends. Nothing real personal at all, just smalltalk. When he left I said bye and didn't even stop what I was doing.

I am really going to do the garnishment now. The company he works for has been rather slow lately and he most likely will be short on money. Guess who would be the first to be asked to skip payment? Me!

MNF tonight. Can't go. No sitter