Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[Frosty Michael]

it's hard to end something that hasn't gotten started, we're friends right now"

Ugh! It's not hard to end something that hasn't gotten started! She's avoiding having a clear response to a simple request, and she's also probably lying up a storm.

4. I told W when we were talking at home that I wouldn't share her with OM. Do I need to tell her that from time to time, to remind her of my boundary?

You shouldn't have to be habitually reminding her. But you will have to remind her every time you catch her continuing her relationships with OM and be firm.

5. We spoke of counseling, and working on our issues to rebuild our M before I left, do I bring that up to her to remind her of what we talked about? We BOTH agreed to go to counseling, but the last text I got from W concerning our M was "Im not sure of anything right now Soldier Dad"

Probabbly it's best that you let her know in a loving respectful way that you're not sure of anything either, and until she gets serious about saving your M continue on DBing and acting as if you're heading for D.