Very true! Before my h's affair I never really thought much about boundaries and such. I was personally aware of them, and of the signs that give a clue that lines are being crossed and used them for myself, but never gave that a deep thought. H and I have been talking some about them now. He needs to pay attention to those signs. In both cases it was the long conversations every night during breaks that created the "initimcy" . Conversations that went from "hi, how are you, how was the weekend?" to goals, ideas, plans for life, and then to talk about personal things and married life... and then to venting when upset at something.. and so on. It is so important to read the signs. Everyone enjoys talking and having people to listen to us. However I find the rule to be stop before you're getting personal. If it's something they wouldn't say if I was present, then it certainly is something they shouldn't say when I'm not present. He's getting there slowly, I hope. ANd you're right, it's a choice. A very poor choice.
Nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
