I was not taking the responsability of what happened away from him I was merely pointing to the fact that it seems much easier to get into an affair than what I felt comfortable thinking. I also pointed out that I believe it is how we react to cross boundaries that makes the difference thus putting responsability for what happened on his back, and for what didn't happen - in the case of my story - on mine. Response to the situation. Not cause.
I understand your saying that once it's taken to the physical aspect it is a conscious choice, and I still like ot think that I , myself, would never go there. But as other people related in occasions of serious stress and lack of self esteem it is even possible that it might happen, or at least that it might be considered. Still I am not saying that this is what happened to my h or am I lifting his responsability for his affair.
Sure people are driven by pleasure. It is human to do so. Our values and impressions of right or wrong - and in some cases the restrictions society puts to us, in the form os laws - are what usually prevent us from runnig ammock in our quest to pleasure. Most people follow those. Some people follow some. And some people seem to loose track of them in certain occasions. Are they responsible for their actions? But certainly. I have no doubt of that, you are completely right there, and in no way was I implying the contrary.
nightshade
"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "
