Life Update...

[theotherhalf]

Hey all, thought I'd check in. Give an update and see how you all are. My the changes. I see some of you are still here. It's been a long time. Alot has happened. Maybe my post can help someone here. Where to begin...

April 2007 I filed for divorce. H went bazerk. He came to me. Litterally got down on his knees, cried and begged for me to take him back. I told him it was too late. He drank heavily again and did nothing but harass and threaten me. OW was still here picking up the pieces for him. H never got a lawyer. We sold the farm, all livestock, all machinery, everything. I got half of all machinery and livestock, H demanded 2/3 of the farm. Not fair, but I did not want to drag this out any longer so I agreed. He was evil and I just wanted it over. By the end of June we were divorced.

H is still in MLC I believe. OW is still there. They are broke up every weekend it seems. So I hear. He has nothing much to do with D18. Blames it on her. Says he tries. D16/(adoptedN) Went to live with her mom in November. I had done all I could do with her too.

I never call H. I avoid him at all cost. He pretty much stays away. About once a month he'll call or stop in. Talk and talk all about his life. Last time he was here for over and hour. He went on and on how bad his life is. How he's lost everything and there's not much point anymore. He even went as far as to ask me advice about OW. He's still angry. He's still selfish. He's still denying. Says he's just fine. He still blames me for it all. If I would have done this, or not done that. But he knows, I know he knows. He still has so many demons haunting him and running his life. He'll never face them and take responsibilty. It's sad. But no one can help him. I don't believe he'll ever find his peace. A good life wasted it really is.

Me I am doing good. I have sunshine in my life and his name is Brian. He's absolutely wonderful. I've never been treated with more respect or kindness. We spend alot of time together. But I am no way ready for any big commitments. I still miss my ex and my exlife. I still have many issues I am working on and working through. I continue to take baby steps every day. I am currently still living here on the farm. I rent from the new owner. What a Godsend he has been to let me live here till I found something else. I bought a house in the town I work in. I take pocession Thursday. I am excited! Don't know how I will like living in town but excited about getting out of here and starting new. I am working on taking some classes to further my education. Want to broaden my skills so as to find a better paying job. Times are tough!!

So I guess... like I've read here, filing for D did bring my H back. But he would never have stayed. He still wouldn't have let go of OW. Life is so different now. There is no more fighting. No more drinking. No more walking on eggshells. No more fear. No more sadness. No more cruelty. No more meanness. I have peace in my life. Something I've never had.

Got to get ready for work. But I'll be back...