Great post! I do know how easy it can be to slip into an inappropriate friendship. I have a very old friend who happens to be male and I have to admit that the last few times that we have got together I have found myself thinking those what-if thoughts. This is something that completely crept on on me too - it's like "hey! where did that thought come from".
A few years back a close female friend moved to Hong Kong and I was very distressed. The feelings were so much like those of a break-up that I couldn't help feeling that maybe I had been "in love" with her in some kind of way. I think there is a very grey area around where friendship steps over into love and it is OK to have a same sex friend you are very close with but not OK to have the same with an opp sex friend. This is even more blurry when it comes to EAs. If I had two different close female friends would that be wrong? If your partner has another close opposite sex friend is that wrong? Well yes if it means they break their vows, I think morally that is what it is about - we took vows to each other.
I know there are a whole bunch of other issues like jealousy on the part of the LBS but that happens between friends too, one friend can be jealous of another - it happens all the time.
In a way I am more confused about the "meaningless" PAs that men claim to have
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
