feel like giving up - talk to me!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I would definitely not put yourself in that position. cause it doesn't matter if he has one or not. the goal is still the same.

so, again, do you think your H could have possibly felt that you were not reciprocating his attempts to connect last weekend, or whatever day it was? do you think his LL is acts of service? and what services did you do for him during that time?


my thought is your H was trying to reconnect then, and for some reason wasn't feeling it was reciprocated, or if there is an OW, she is really confusing him and he has no clue what he really wants.

and yes, what he said is typical behavior. He is looking for FEELINGs and that's not love. so if he does have an OW, he's getting a feeling in similar to a high, so this is going to be hard for him because the feelings will confuse him.

[Gnosis]

Luv, based on our conversation in the "alt" and on what you've posted here: Your H has a drinking problem. Dealing with "functioning" alcoholic will be different to the advice I've been offering you. This is beyond my scope of expertise. If I was you I'd do a search for how to handle a spouse who has a drinking problem.

[luvless]

I know he has a drinking problem but I am not focusing on that right now. I feel it's his problem first before it is mine so I cannot fix that for him. I have some updating to do guys.

[TrentC]

I know he has a drinking problem but I am not focusing on that right now. I feel it's his problem first before it is mine so I cannot fix that for him.

You are right; he's not going to decide to fix it himself, either.

Gnosis is correct -- do some research on how to handle a spouse's drinking problem. Here would be a good place to start:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

[luvless]

Here are my very confusing dynamics guys

Sunday he was standoffish but cordial. We ended up getting into it a little but we both ended up agreeing we need to talk to each other better. I was visibly mad and he knew it. (I haven't really been showing anger lately so)

I avoid him and he comes in the room later to ask me, "are you ok?" (hasn't asked me anything like that lately) and I say, "no I'm not." He comes over and says, "I don't wanna fight"...I say, "me either" I say...come here and we hug and he gives me a kiss. We can't get our sh*t together huh?

This morning just a matter of fact morning but when he goes to leave he puts his arm around me and kisses me and tells me to have a good day. I don't know.

Then I find an email this morning from a woman from the office that says she can't wait to talk to her friend tomorrow is not coming fast enough! I call him on and ask him. He denies anything (of course) he says, 'I've done nothing wrong." I am a fool for wanting to believe him but I know it can't be the truth.

He is texting me back and forth while driving (he never does that) to tell me I have nothing to worry about. I don't know what to think anymore. I just don't.

He leaves tomorrow morning for his two week business trip. I'm sure she is going so that will be nice for me to think about. I think I'll puke out a lung on that one.

Well...guys I don't know but it seems things are winding down for me - we shall see where this goes.

[soleil]

Hey Luv,

Happy new year. Have you met the lady from the office before? Did you go to his Xmas work party? Was she there? If she was, what did you observe? I'm not rocket scientist but you say he leaves tomorrow for a trip and she messages him saying it can't come fast enough...

NOW, as for everything else, you are being cordial without being saccharine, right? You seriously need to GAL right now and let him know you're not going to die without him. DO NOT be sulky around him. It sounds like he's really struggling to make things right with you in a way yet he's pulling away. It's confusing.

[luvless]

It IS confusing Sol - it is. No I haven't met her. She did get him a christmas gift and no she wasn't at the party. I guess she is not directly in his group - just works in the division.

I will NOT sulk don't worry. I know what you mean about trying to make things right with me yet he's pulling away - exactly! This is what's confusing me. I guess he just working on guilt right now - seems that way to me.

She is married - I want to write her back but I not until he leaves the office for the day. I will tell her her email is inappropriate...or u guys can chime in and let me know what you think.

I'm trying not to stress but this is so upsetting.

[TrentC]

Then I find an email this morning from a woman from the office that says she can't wait to talk to her friend tomorrow is not coming fast enough! I call him on and ask him. He denies anything (of course) he says, 'I've done nothing wrong."

Why did you confront him when you knew he was going to deny it? No cheating spouse with half a brain confesses to an affair without solid proof. (And most of them will deny it, anyway.)

[TrentC]

She is married - I want to write her back but I not until he leaves the office for the day. I will tell her her email is inappropriate...or u guys can chime in and let me know what you think.

I'm not sure what was inappropriate about the email you mentioned. She said she can't wait to talk to him "tomorrow"? That could mean anything; maybe she had a really hilarious story to tell about her weekend. Or did I miss something?

[luvless]

here is the email - sorry but doesn't sound like just a friendship to me

"what do i do when i want to talk to my friend but i can't and tomorrow doesn't come fast enough...why is it our life is not how we imagined it to be?"

puke!